Candlelight Conversations Volume 1: Di'eayyah Boney
TELL US A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOU! WHAT ARE YOU PASSIONATE ABOUT?
My name is Di’eayyah Boney. I am a 26-year old Personality Psychology doctoral student at Howard University and the founder of The Fashion Doctor and The Fashion Doctor Internship Program. I am also the Social Media Manager for Kintsugi Candle Co.. Fostering the growth of young women is my passion. My research focuses on identity development and the social identity stress placed on minority women, that is heavily influenced by stereotype socialization and popular media in conjunction with their double jeopardy status. It is my mission to further the narrative of positive representation of minority women in the media to help eliminate consequences of counterproductive media representation that negatively affect the identity development of minority women.
WE BELIEVE THAT JUST LIKE BROKEN POTTERY PUT BACK TOGETHER WITH GOLD, WE ARE MADE WHOLE AGAIN IN SPITE OF OUR TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS AND ARE MORE BEAUTIFUL AND UNIQUE HAVING BEEN BROKEN. WE WOULD LOVE TO HEAR YOUR KINTSUGI STORY!
There was one knock on my childhood home front door, June 30, 2013 that changed my life forever. On the other side of the door, was a person with the news that my mom’s youngest brother, who was not only my uncle but also my pastor, had been killed. What is significant about this event amongst the many things is that at the time I was a Psychology and Criminology double major at the University of Miami. So, there I sat - The girl with that burning passion for Psychology and Criminology, heavily vested in the study and critical analysis of the criminal mind- now a victim of one of my own aspirations.
When I made my return for the fall semester of my senior year at the University of Miami, I found myself emotionally distracted. I would literally have to mentally check out during lectures when certain topics were discussed. I was now apart of one of those families I had vigorously researched and watched repeatedly on television. I no longer wanted to pursue my major because it brought much pain daily. The passion was gone, the burning light had been extinguished, and a downward spiral into a rather depressive state began. I stopped attending my classes on a regular basis because they seemed too much to handle. I wouldn’t even pick up a Psychology book. However, what was seemingly surprising is that I continued to watch dramas such as Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. Moreover, what was to come was even more surprising. The very thing I was running away from, Psychology and Criminology, was the thing that saved me and brought me out of my depression. Law and Order: Special Victims Unit features a female detective who is a child of rape and a rape victim, assaulted during the call of duty. Olivia Benson, the detective, realizes that her own past continues to wedge itself in between her career and colleagues. It is then that Detective Benson begins to question her purpose on the force; and, it is then that she realizes that her past is what keeps her pushing each and everyday in order to save other fictitious young girls and women. While watching another criminal television drama, Detective Benson saved another young woman but this time it wasn’t a character. It was myself and in that instant, I realized my purpose.
For three and a half years I had being studying to show myself approval in the fields of Psychology with an emphasis on developmental/personalities and Criminology with an emphasis on race and ethnicity. Oprah Winfrey is quoted saying, “Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.” It’s as if this quote was written just for me because Psychology is my passion, and the exhilarated rush I receive from its refinements is what excites me. I could not be deterred by life’s twist and turns. Moreover, my uncle did not do all he could for me during his lifetime for me throw in the towel when the going got tough. I could not let the circumstances rob me of what I had worked so hard to accomplish and have my uncle’s death be in vain. From that day, I pulled myself together. I graduated Cum Laude and began a doctoral program at Howard University. Although my research focus has shifted, had it not been for this event, I would not be now pursuing my dreams of becoming a Personality Psychologists who strives to positively build little brown girls across the world. I am Kintsugi.
“Never let your environment or your situation define who you are. Most importantly, always remember your story matters.”
SHARING YOUR STORY AND OWNING YOUR TRUTH IS SO IMPORTANT! HOW DO YOU PROMOTE AUTHENTICITY?
I encourage people to focus their energy where it really matters, to embrace everything about yourself, and love yourself regardless. Never let your environment or your situation define who you are. Most importantly, always remember your story matters. You never know what anyone is going through, and your story could be valuable to someone. Share you story. Share you experiences. Share your trials. Share your tribulation. Share your wins. Share your losses. What you have to say matters.
HOW DO YOU PRACTICE SELF-CARE AND SELF LOVE?
I practice Self-Care and Self-Love in several different ways:
I perform daily mantras
I do Work-Free-Fridays, so Friday nights when I get home I don’t do anything else pertaining to work, school, or my business.
I work out, and am cognizant of what I put in and on my body.
I am now starting phone free Sundays. I will keep my phone on me in case of emergencies, but I’m not going to answer texts or be on social media.
& Just like anyone, I love a good retail therapy sesh.
NEEDLESS TO SAY, WE ARE BIG PROPONENTS OF AROMATHERAPY? WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE SCENTS?
I am a rose girl! I love all things rose scented and rose flavored. A close second for me is lavender.
YOUR STORY IS ONE THAT PERSONIFIES COURAGE AND RESILIENCE. WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHERS WHO ARE STRIVING TO OVERCOME AN OBSTACLE OR FIND THE BEAUTY IN THEIR BROKENNESS?
To never forget your “why”. It is so easy to be consumed with life’s tribulations that we forget why we are here in the first place.
Also, self doubt is a subconscious dream killer that we have to get rid of. I’ve recently started saying to myself, “Everything I want is available to me.” Just lets me know that anything I want I can have no matter what happens.
WHO DOESN'T NEED A INSPIRATION? WHAT INSTAGRAM ACCOUNTS DO YOU TURN TO FOR YOUR DAILY DOSE OF INSPO?
@MantraBand — Most Favorite Instagram
WE WOULD LOVE TO CONTINUE TO FOLLOW YOUR JOURNEY! HOW CAN WE STAY CONNECTED WITH YOU?
Follow me on Insta: @_TheFashionDoctor